“In general, Americans think we are assholes. Ridiculous frogs!” At this, the others in the cellar, not listening up until this point, raise their glasses with hearty hoots and hollers.

“Me,” I say, “I find the French magical.”

“Yes, but you must be the exception.”

“Not so much…” I perform the French gesture where one holds out a hand and wobbles it from side to side. I want it to communicate “you’re wrong,” which is how I’ve always liked to interpret this gesture. I have chosen to forget that it means “comme-ci, comme ça.”

You see, I’m in this magical country to descend into its cellars and change things.